Everyone wants to believe their love is from a fairy tale, even though we probably know better than that. We believe love will find a way, and our marriages will last forever. Sadly, many times this fairy tale does not have the happy ending we dreamed of.
If your marriage is ending, or has already ended, there are ways to cope with the realization and start to heal your heartbreak. It is important to reconcile what you thought you had, and the future you dreamed of. As painful as it may be, let go of the hopes and dreams you may have had. Letting go may feel like you are grieving the loss of a part of you, and in many ways, you are. But it is important to find strength on new ground, and in new hopes and dreams.
Here are a few ways to help you get there:
Find your center- When your world has been turned upside down, it is important to find your center. Find peace and answers to your questions. This can be through faith or spirituality. It can also be through meditative activity or mindfulness.
“Forever” is a relative term – What is your meaning of forever? Even “until death do us part” is not actually forever. Reflect on your expectations of forever are. Many times the fantasy of “forever” leads to more suffering than necessary.
Focus on your values – Just because your marriage changed doesn’t mean your values have to too. Reflect back on what is important to you and focus your energy on those principles.
Dare to dream – Dreams should not be pushed aside just because your marriage ended. Let your imagination open up to new and exciting dreams. Your future may be different than what you had pictured, but it can be bright and new, and full of possibilities.
Stay Inspired – Despair is on the other side of hope, so once the hope is gone, things can become dark. Stay inspired – it is an important piece of the puzzle. Draw inspiration for anything and everything. Blogs, quotes, role models, your children, your friends. And never give up.
For more information about counseling for divorce, marriage counseling or relationship therapy, please contact Healthwise.