School has started, and your family is back into the familiar routine. But something is different in your son or daughter. Maybe they are more quiet than usual, or they seem to be “feeling sick” more often or have excuses to miss school or perhaps just the bus ride. These could be subtle signs that your child is being bullied.
Before you march in to the school administrative office, take a step back and think about your approach to the situation.
Here are a few tips that might be helpful.
- Try not to accuse your child’s teacher. Instead of telling them what is going on in the classroom, ask. Accusations of what is going on in their classroom can rub someone the wrong way, having a negative impact. By being inquisitive rather than suspicious it can compel your child’s teacher to be your child’s ally in the future.
- Keep an eye out for who the bully might be. If you can determine who the child is, try befriending their parents at the next school function. You’ve heard the rule – keep your friends close, and your enemies closer. By potentially connecting with that parent you may learn more about their child and if they might have something in common with your child.
- Can you determine why your child is being bullied? Try looking at the situation as an impartial party. Does your child have a quirky personality or have something unique about their appearance? Find out if there is something you can do to help your child connect with others; without changing their uniqueness.
- Build up your child’s self confidence. Kids with high self confidence are less affected by bullies. Encourage them to pursue their strengths and make sure they know how special they are. Help them find a way to shine by joining after extracurricular activities.
- How does your child feel about the situation? Ask non judgmental questions, and let your child know you are there to talk to. Most importantly, listen. Try to keep suggestions to a minimum, letting your child vent and think through their own emotions. This thought process can empower them to think for themselves.
- Allow your child to grow from the experience. Bullying can have lasting effects on children, but they don’t all have to be negative. They can discover new strengths they never knew they had, or maybe strengthen their bond with the parent or loved one supporting them through the situation.
- Consider talking to a counselor. If the effects of bullying are more severe, seeking the help of an experienced therapist can help address more serious concerns for your child, and for you.
For more information about counseling for adolescents suffering from bullying, contact Healthwise Behavioral Health & Wellness.